This is the Winter 2018 course discussion blog for and by UCLA students enrolled in LGBTQ Studies 183: Queer Arts in LA.
This course includes a creative component. When this course was first offered during the Fall 2012 quarter, the students researched queer artists who have a significant connection to Los Angeles. Then created a collaborative website.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about post-grad life. The loss of an identity i've carried with me for my entire life. I will no longer be a student, but will have to redefine myself completely as an adult and with the comes a very heavy load of doubt and fear. I am not a person who likes to fail and does everything in her power to succeed. That is who I was raised to be and that is who I am, but even with that I can't help but feeling like I am about to take a jump into unchartered waters and drown because I'm going to forget how to swim. While I was making this portrait I realized that all these anxieties and self-doubt moments I keep having are myself preparing my mind for the worst, but ultimately I have the final say in what happens to me in the future. The world does not get to dictate how successful I am or am not, only I get to decide that. The first time I read Dr. Seuss's "Oh, the places you'll go" I fell instantly connected to it, I was graduating high school, preparing to start a new chapter of my life and even though I was scared I made it, because here I am four years later ready to graduate with a better grasp of who I am and what I want to do with my life. Every experience I have had and will have will not be happy or successful ones, but I will take them on and come out on top one way or another. So to me this portrait I have created is a reminder and ode to myself that I am going places and though the future may be unknown to me it's coming and I can handle it. I am stronger than I think, smarter than I was, and in order to get where I want I need to let my fears and doubts go and thats exactly what I'll do.